To all our employees,
As the CEO of this company which employs over 100 people, I have accepted the fact that Barack Obama is our new President, and that our taxes and government fees will now increase in a BIG way.
To compensate for this additional overhead, I figure that the clients will have to see an increase in our fees of about 8% but, since we cannot raise those prices right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off several of our employees instead. This unfortunate economic reality has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I couldn’t figure out how to choose who will have to go.
After giving it considerable thought, this is what I did: I strolled through our
parking lot and found 11 Obama bumper stickers on our employees’ cars, and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can’t think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They wanted change; I gave it to them.
If you have a better idea, let me know. Have a nice day.
Sincerely,
Your humble CEO
